It is what it is, Fate is a terrible thing

Life is too short to fall for people who don’t love you loudly, or for relationships that don’t set fire to your soul.

Our time on this earth is impermanent, and in the short years we must love fearlessly.

The person you’re meant to be with will challenge you, will push you, will make you crazy and happy and confused, and show you what real, complicated love is.

The person you’re meant to be with will terrify you because they make you feel something.
So this is what you need to know about love—you must always chase the person who scares you. Don’t settle for comfort because it’s familiar. Don’t be content with what you know because there’s a world out there waiting for you. And life’s too short not to pursue that.

Fall for the person who terrifies you because they have new ways of looking at the world, because they are different, because there is some unexplainable connection that is pulling you back to him or her, no matter how much you try to deny it.

Fall for the person who terrifies you because you feel something when you look into his or her eyes. and because scary is a change, a challenge, and both of those things will help you grow.
Fall for the person who terrifies you because what the hell else is our purpose on this earth than to love and love foolishly, fearlessly, fully?

Life is too short to hold yourself back from feeling something deeply. Life’s too short to deny your heart the pleasure of falling into someone, and giving them your soul. Life’s too short to pretend that you’ll find love where it’s comfortable and easy, because in all reality, love will never be easy. And that’s the most beautiful part.

Life’s too short not to pursue people that scare you, because those people are the ones who will change your life. And we’re all searching for that love that will alter our entire lives.

It’s waiting for you, go get it.

Risk i'm willing to take.

i love you.
the color of your eyes was never my favorite until i met you. now no one else’s can compare.
i love you.
not just on your good days. i love you when you’re feeling your lowest and you’re tired and all you want to do is cry.
i love you.
even when you aren’t smiling. your frown and your pout make me just as happy as those pretty teeth of yours.
i love you.
even when i’m hurting. even when i feel broken, you can always manage to get a smile out of me.
i love you.
i still get butterflies every time you look at me. every time you tell me you love me, my heart flips and i feel a little stronger.
i love you.
because loving you has never felt like a job. it comes naturally. i didn’t try to love you, it just happened.
i love you.
you make me a better version of myself. i try harder because i want to make you happy and make you happy to be with me.
i love you.
nothing can compare to the feel of your skin against mine. and when you kiss me, everything else disappears.
i love you.
i didn’t think i would love you this much. i didn’t think i could love someone this much. you picked up my broken pieces without even knowing and fixed the cracks.
i love you.
because no matter how many miles may be between us, i will never stop trying to get home to you.

Things that keep me up at night,

i.) how many times can you fall for the wrong person before you give up on finding the right one?
ii.) my mother and father are only together because of their children. if love is founded on consideration for others, i want to be selfish. i want to love because i do, not because i have to. does that make me a bad person?
iii.) the last time we talked, i told you to never call me again. you cried and then you told me i had used you. it hurt me to think that it was only my fault as if you had never been the one to ruin me.
iv.) my friend is in love with someone who abuses him. he doesn’t see it but i do. i know the abuser and they are not a bad person.
v.) physical scars heal faster than emotional ones. a cut on my leg is jagged and bloody, a crevice stitched into my skin. imagine if i could examine my heart.
vi.) what if i never should have left her?
vii.) i haven’t been with anyone since the breakup. i don’t know if it’s because i don’t want to or if it’s because i can’t. it’s hard to tell what you’re feeling when you’ve made yourself numb.
viii.) it scares me to think about loving again.

Something that took me way too long to learn

There comes a time when you have to just pick yourself up and get the fuck over it. people let you down. people hurt you. there’s no use in pinning for someone who doesn’t sacrifice themselves just to see you thrive. theres no use in doing things that make you unhappy, in being someone that makes you unhappy. learn how to be happy. make yourself thrive. realize that there is still good people in the world, there is still light. learn and understand that the sun will still shine regardless of how you feel inside.

Its not you, its my own expectations hurting me.

They ask how you are… But what the hell are you supposed to tell them?

That you’re exhausted. Worn down and numb by this foggy grey cloud in your head that just won’t go away.

That you’ve lost yourself. You’re looking in the mirror and touching the glass, touching your face, trying to work out if that really is you, staring back.

That if people can be broken, you have shattered every bone by now and dropped every organ so that it smashed like glass.

That you can force your mouth into a smile, but your eyes are blind. They are dull, empty.

Or do you tell them that sadness is all you have right now. And perhaps it will be okay tomorrow, but perhaps it won’t. You’ve been here before, you’ll be here again. This cycle is the life you have become used to. You’re sure you’ll be fine.
You’re just a sad and broken person.

That’s how you are. But you can’t exactly tell people that, can you?

Is this the way to live? ☺ is it??

You see the thing about anxiety is that it completely shields your eyes from the things that are everything to you. It convinces you that something is wrong and that people who mean the world to you don’t care about you anymore when even though 3 days ago you guys couldn’t have been better. It tricks you’re brain into having a warped view on your life and allows toxic fumes to ruin the picture. It makes you feel like everything you do and everything you are is fucking wrong. It allows you to think that you’re fucking up your relationship and whispers that poisonous thought “one day, this is all going to mess up because of YOU”. You may know all of this is a LIE, but still, there’s that glimmer of venerability inside of you that starts to wonder if this is actually true. Anxiety isn’t just ‘sleeping it off’ anymore because you feel the same way in the morning; and you know what? It’s fucking shit. Fuck this. You need to know you are the strong one here, do you hear me? YOU are doing it right, people, your girlfriend still loves you- MORE THAN YOU THINK. They love you. It pains them to see you like this. YOU are becoming stronger everyday but you can’t see that because of the poison in your veins. The brain is very very clever. It can turn your happiness into ash on the floor. Your anxiety is a bully. It needs to die. It needs to die so you can start to become alive again. 
The fact you have survived today, shows you are already killing it.”