Lets end this here maybe 🙄... but Im okay though 😊😊

Afterall, I will never forget 😊
You are someone else’s to write about now. Not that you were ever mine, or that you’ll ever belong to anyone, you are anything but a cliche. Nevertheless, I hope he does your essence justice. I have nothing left to compare you to, these next few sentences will be my last. There was nothing like that warmth that lit up my insides, so easily elicited by the sound of your voice. There was nothing like the incessant ache for someone so unobtainable, in all respects. For my own sake, I hope I never experience that particular ache again. There is nothing more satisfying than finally finishing a piece of writing and feeling truly and wholeheartedly done, like reading the last haunting lines your favorite book.

Though, like all of my favorites, it is inevitable that I will come back to you, even in a memory, even in a dream. I will look back as I flip through our pages and feel that comfort you once provided me from one thousand miles away, even if it is for just as long as it takes my fingers to reach the bind. I’ve said it one too many times and I’ll say it once more: you were the first day of spring after an eternal winter.

I dont intend to post this.. lol!!

I hope I'm not the only one

Who goes to their favorite place where so many good memories were made and it’s sunny out, the sun is setting, and you’re in such a happy, contented mood after finally being able to come to terms with the past

and then you see something that reminds you.

That’s all it takes to break your heart again.

Is it my fault??

maybe if i close eyes I won’t see anymore
maybe if i close my heart I won’t feel anymore

but neither of it works

i closed my eyes and i saw you
clearly as if you never left
they say “never lose that light from you eyes”
that’s why i kept your vision inside my eyes because you were my light
or maybe you were just the shadow making them dark and i should push you away
but i was afraid to do one
i closed my eyes and there you were

i tried to close my heart
but oh god how could i never realize it was broken
how can i close something that’s down in pieces bleeding 
or even worse i found my soul like that too
and my veins
my mind
i lost my mind when you shut down the door so hard when you left

maybe if i close eyes I won’t see anymore
maybe if i close my heart I won’t feel anymore

but neither of it worked
nothing ever works in this pain....

and the wrost part...

“I miss knowing you were always there. I miss the security. I miss the stupid fights that either made us shut up until next time or somehow made us stronger. I miss holding your hand. I miss you holding back. I miss you not holding back. I miss your scruff and always being amazed that I walked away without severe beard-burn. I miss those nights when we didn’t want to stop being with each other. I miss getting so pissed at something you would say or do and trying to deal with it on my own until you made me fess up. I miss surprising you. I miss being surprised by the glimpses of your humanity every now and then. I miss the look you’d get when i’d touch your cheek. I miss how you thought you were so stealth with your mood changes when you really can’t hide them from me. I miss how i always knew where I stood. I think I miss your hugs the most. didn’t need them often, but now when I do, it sucks to know you’re not around to give them.”

Im afraid, I miss you

“I miss you,

And not in a “it’s one in the morning, I’m so lonely, looking through old pictures” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “my friends are all laughing, and so am I, but somehow you still haven’t left my mind” kind of way.

I miss you,

And not in a “someone asked me how you were today and I realized I didn’t know the answer” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “nobody has brought you up in months, but I still tell stories about you” kind of way.

I miss you,

And not in a “it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m alone” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “you did well on a test and I want to be the first person you tell” kind of way.

I miss you. I don’t just miss the idea of you. I miss you.”