Stay away from me though!

“I can tell you I love you and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I can also tell you, you have hurt me to the point of no return or broke our promises so much I can’t even believe in them anymore. You have ruined my trust, stability, and self worth. You have ruined my good heart, cheerful personality, and thought of recovery. You have ruined my ever thought of getting better, or staying safe or clean. You have ruined my innocence. I can’t stop thinking about you, about us, the cool nights near the water, kissing passionately. You have ruined my favorite smells, my tea, my everyday thoughts. The smell of you lingers on me like a wildflower. I can’t forget about our little spots, your sly smiles and giggles. You have ruined happiness for me. I’m depressed about being depressed. I can’t stop thinking about the picture in my mind of you and him kissing, and its been months. I can’t stop thinking about my red eyes, and blue lips. I really don’t know how to put myself back together. I miss your warm breath on my neck. I miss your sweet lips. Fuck, I just miss you. I haven’t slept since you left. I still have the pendant you gave me, I held it so tight in my hand it left a mark for four days. I also can’t forget about your secretiveness, harsh words, and words unsaid. The way you looked at him. His pictures saved in your gallery. I just can’t forget. I’m begging the God I don’t even believe in rid to your words from my head. I’m cold in all direction, but I am lost without your warmth. I never thought loving you would hurt this bad. I wish I had never woken that day, you strayed away.”